Tuesday, February 19, 2013

When We are Weak, He is Strong

Macmillan Dictionary defines strength as the ability of something to support a force or weight without breaking.  Accepting the diagnosis of HLHS for Hudson is like a weight I cannot even begin to explain.  I wish I could say that as each day goes by it gets easier, but honestly it's not true.  Every day brings tears, but also joys like feeling my sweet baby boy kicking or moving around.

In many ways I am a very weak person.  I am scared of silly things like heights, but I am also scared of much bigger things like cancer.  When I hear about people going through immense struggles in their lives the first thing I think is how sorry I am that they are going through such difficult circumstances, but usually the second thought is I'm not sure I could do it.  If you would have asked me 3 months ago if I could handle something like this I would have said no way.  The truth is even today if I were alone I couldn't do it.  My husband and I have a wonderful support system in our family, friends, and church, but even those people wouldn't be enough.  The only reason we are strong enough to handle this is because our Lord is carrying us in our weakness.

I have always loved the story about the footprints in the sand.  One night a man had a dream.  He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord.  Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.  For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:  one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.  When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand.  He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints.  He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.  This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it:  "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way.  But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints.  I don't understand why when I needed you the most you would leave me."  The Lord replied:  "My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you.  During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

We were never promised that this life would be easy, but what we were promised is that God would never abandon us.  Of course I am still scared, but I know that someone bigger than myself is in control.  Even this can be difficult for a control freak like myself.  One more thing that really scares me is that people will over time forget about Hudson's story and the prayers will eventually stop.  Please continue to pray for my son long-term.  Although we do not know how Hudson's story will play out, we do believe that God has something big in mind.

     I have attached this video which is a song called "Breaking My Fall" by Jeremy Camp that has a beautiful message about true strength.



Happy Valentine's Hudson!
22 weeks


7 comments:

  1. All of you remain in my prayers, my thoughts, and my heart. You are correct that God is carrying y'all through this; He is with you every moment of every day. Remember that as each day goes by. He did not promise us a rose garden; only that He would not put more on us than we can handle with His help. Love to each of you. The Martins

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  2. I am praying for you guys and will get the whole Christ Health Center team praying tomorrow. Robert Record

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  3. I understand what you are going through, my son Cade was born with several heart defects. He is almost 3 and doing great. It is a long journey, and at times is trying, but Faith makes it possible. I am praying for all of you.

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  4. Eli wanted baby Hudson to know that he and we as a family are praying...we specifically have prayed that baby Hudson will continue to grow strong and that mom and dad are getting good nights sleep. We also prayed for each of the doctors and nurses that will soon deliver and care for him. We pray that they will each be well rested and have a calmness in their heart so they can take care of Hudson to the best of their abilities. We love you Hudson! Eli can't wait to meet you!

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  5. Brittain, thank you for being so open and honest with what you are experiencing and feeling during such a difficult time. I can't even imagine. Not only does it help others to know what you are going through so they can lift you guys up in prayer and offer help in other ways, but it is also a tremendous encouragement and testimony to others that they don't ever have to be alone in whatever they are going through. God has given you so much courage. I will not forget about Hudson, and have made a commitment to continue praying for him, you, and Jamey. Hudson is being cradled in Jesus' loving arms, as are you. Psalm 139:13-16. Isaiah 43:2. Isaiah 41:10-13. Joshua 1:9. Psalm 18:1-2. Psalm 138:7. Psalm 138:3. Jeremiah 29:11. - a friend of Caroline's.

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  6. Stacy Aycock JohnsonMarch 5, 2013 at 2:01 PM

    Oh to be used by God....not for the weak. Thank you for standing in the gap and proclaiming that HE is still Jehovah Rapha - Our Healer. Amazing what this little guy is already doing in so many lives.

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  7. I am so proud of the two of you for your faith and you are my inspiration!!! GOD has a plan for our baby Hudson!!!GOD will carry you through the joys and the valleys of this life!

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