Christmas in Heaven

The holidays have been extremely difficult for our family.  I expected it to be tough, but I didn’t expect the pain of missing Hudson to take my breath away like it did right after his death.  There are days that I feel like I’m drowning, but thankfully the majority of days I feel God’s peace.

I wonder what its like in Heaven at Christmas.  I imagine Hudson joining in singing with a beautiful heavenly choir to celebrate our Savior’s birthday.  I’m sure joy radiates from Heaven all of the time, but I imagine it is extra special at Christmas.  What an incredible gift for a king to leave his perfect kingdom to come to a broken and hurting world and die for the sins of all of humanity.  I think about how much I miss Hudson and wish he was here with me, and when I step back from that it makes me think about how Jesus must hurt so much when we are distant from him.  He so desperately wants to be in our lives.  I’m in awe of the love that Jesus has for us, and I’m glad Hudson is experiencing that directly.  Christmas really is about God’s ultimate gift of love in the form of a baby boy.  I’m glad my son is in the arms of his son.

Even though there has been a lot of tragedy in the past year, there are so many things I am thankful for and I wanted to share them with you.

·      Jesus Christ for conquering death and pain in this world and providing a way for me to spend eternity with my creator and loved ones.

·      My incredible husband & Hudson’s amazing Dada.  I’m not sure how I could have done it without you.  You are my perfect match.

·      Our family for supporting us throughout our entire journey with Hudson and especially lately for being so respectful of changing holiday traditions to make it a little easier on us.

·      Incredible friends that have prayed, called, messaged, sent cards and flowers and gifts.  I am thankful for having people in my life that didn’t abandon us when things were ugly, uncomfortable, and awkward.  You have held our hands and wiped our tears, let us talk about Hudson and continue to remember our precious son.  I’m thankful that my friends haven’t given up on me when I probably only respond to their calls and messages less than half of the time. 

·      Hudson’s entire medical team.  You inspire me and are changing lives on a daily basis.  Thank you for giving me the best 23 months of my life.

·      Our church for the amazing support they have offered us.  I’m also so appreciative of the way they took charge of Hudson’s memorial service and made it more special than I could have ever hoped for.

·      Our work families for supporting us and allowing Hudson to take first priority over work obligations. 

·      I am so blown away and thankful for everyone that participated in the first annual Hudson’s Day of Kindness on June 25^th.  Thank you for helping me tell my son’s story and keep his memory alive.  I hope you will continue this tradition with us every year.

·      Thank you to everyone that has donated to Children’s of Alabama in Hudson’s memory.  This memorial fund will remain open indefinitely and every time someone specifies the name Hudson Simmons, 100% of the proceeds will go to life-saving research for other children affected by congenital heart defects and heart problems.  To date we have raised over $9,000 to change the lives of heart families at Children’s of Alabama and hopefully around the world.  Thank you for caring about something that we are so passionate about. 

·      Last but certainly not least is my son, Hudson.  Thank you for making me a mother.  I love you with a fierceness that I didn’t realize existed.  You made me better, more compassionate, more aware, more loving.  You are my greatest accomplishment and the very best part of me.  I can’t wait until the day that we are running into each other’s arms again.  I love you forever Hudson.  Merry Christmas my sweet love!

Hudson's 1st Christmas - 6 months old