Happy Birthday in Heaven

If this is your first time visiting our blog, thank you for stopping by.  We started this blog as a way to share the story of our son Hudson who was born with a complex congenital heart defect called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome.  When I was pregnant, we found out at our anatomy scan that our son would be born with half of a heart and would require multiple open heart surgeries or possibly a heart transplant just to survive.  We didn't know what the future would hold, but we believed that God had a purpose for our son.  After 23 amazing months with our son here on Earth, Hudson's life was unexpectedly cut short due to a complication from his heart defect.  Even though Hudson was born with half of a heart, he lived an incredible life.  Our son was an amazing little boy who completely changed our world for the better.  Hudson was smart, beautiful, and a joy to know.  Even though we wish he was here, we know that one day we will be reunited with him again in Heaven.  Today for Hudson's 4th birthday, we have asked friends and family to perform random acts of kindness to keep his memory alive.  We hope that Hudson's Day of Kindness will bring some much needed joy and kindness into this broken world.

Happy Birthday Hudson!  We love you forever!

Psalm 73:26 "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Hudson's Day of Kindness

We would love for you to help us celebrate Hudson's birthday this year by participating in our annual Hudson's Day of Kindness this Sunday, June 25th.  Hudson would be 4 years old on Sunday, and I know he will be celebrating in Heaven.  Please join with us in remembering our sweet boy and bringing some kindness to this Earth.  I have attached the link to the Hudson's Day of Kindness cards to be passed out while performing a random act of kindness in his memory.  Thank you in advance for helping keep our son's memory alive!

Hudson's Day of Kindness Cards (front & back)

Feel free to share your random act of kindness by commenting on the blog or on Facebook.

What Grief Looks Like Two Years Later

Every person’s journey through grief is unique.  Two years after losing my sweet baby boy Hudson this is where I am in my grief.  Gone are those days where it physically hurt to breathe and I literally could not remember what I was doing from one moment to the next.  The cloud of shock and disbelief have lifted, but what remains is an intense sadness and heart that is still broken from missing Hudson more than words can describe.  After his death, I remember the grief counselor telling us that it does get better.  At this point I can say some things are better, and others are not.  A piece of me died that day too and I know that I am forever changed.  I’ve become much more introverted and I feel like I am living a life that very few can understand.  Grief can be extremely isolating and it’s easy to want to pull away from everyone.

There is some beauty that comes from grief as well.  I have never felt more loved from Jesus than I did in the days and months following Hudson’s death.  He carried me through the darkest days of my life when I wasn't even sure I would be able to live through this heartbreak.  Jesus and his promise of eternity are what get me through even today.  I am also so thankful for the support from our friends and family.  I have some pretty amazing friends that continue to reach out to me over and over again even though many times their messages and calls go unanswered.  They love me in spite of the fact that I’m really not much of a good friend these days because sometimes I’m just trying to survive my new reality.  Our family are so incredible at letting us know how much they continue to think about Hudson and keep his sweet memory alive.  We have people that we have never even met that have prayed for us and for our son.  People continue to participate in Hudson’s Day of Kindness, which is coming up on his birthday, June 25th to honor his memory and bring some kindness to a very broken world.  Even though life has dealt us a devastating hand, I know that beauty can come from ashes.

I take solace in knowing that Hudson is in Heaven, he is happy and his heart is healed forever and one day we will be reunited for eternity.   Jesus healed Hudson’s heart and I believe that he is working to heal mine.  He is picking up all of the broken pieces and mending them together to make something new.  Living on Earth without my child is unbelievably difficult, but I am putting my trust in Jesus even when I don’t understand this life.  He is still good and he is still the King of the world.  Lord, I trust you and I know you see my hurting heart even when I feel alone.  You love me and you love Hudson, and not even death can separate us from your everlasting love.

John 14: 2-3 “My Father’s house has many rooms; if this were not true, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you.  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.”

Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

Choosing Triumph Over Tragedy

If this is your first time reading this blog, I hope it is because someone passed along some kindness to you in memory of my son Hudson.  Today is Hudson’s birthday and he would have been 3 years old.  Hudson’s story started quite some time ago.  After years of infertility we finally got pregnant with our incredible son.  At 20 weeks pregnant, I found out my son had a congenital heart defect called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) which means he would be born with only half of a functioning heart.  At the time it was very difficult to explain the situation repeatedly, so my husband and I decided to start this blog to keep family and friends updated on Hudson’s life.  We weren’t sure if we would ever bring our son home from the hospital or what his future would hold, but we knew that God would be triumphant in his life regardless, and so we called the blog Choosing Triumph Over Tragedy.

Fast forward several months and our son not only survived his first 2 open-heart surgeries, but he thrived.  This incredible little boy was full of life; always smiling, constantly on the move, and never letting his circumstances define him.  Hudson loved animals, trains, reading, and nonstop playing.  Hudson was beautiful inside and out and he brought so much joy to our lives.

After 23 amazing months, Hudson’s life was unexpectedly cut short due to a complication from his heart defect.  I know my son is in Heaven and that one day we will be together again.  In this broken world it's easy to lose hope, but if you are reading this I think Hudson would want you to know how much Jesus loves you.  There is nothing that will ever cause him to stop loving or relentlessly pursuing you.  There is no pit in life that God’s love is not deeper.  As much as I love my son, I know that he is in the arms of the only one that could love him more than me.

Happy Birthday Hudson!  We love you forever!

Why I Hope You Never Stop Saying His Name

Maybe one of the most precious gifts you can give a bereaved parent is to say their child’s name.  When a loved one passes away, there is initially such a huge outpouring of support.  Understandably as time goes on, people go back to their normal lives.  We however will never be able to go back to our old normal again.  Life will never be the same and a big piece of our hearts died that day too.  When Hudson passed away, I had this intense desire to keep his memory alive.  One of my biggest fears was that people would forget about this incredible little boy that changed my life forever.  Probably many people feel this way after losing a loved one, but I can’t help but think the feeling is amplified when it is a child.  Hudson didn’t have a lifetime to make memories and form relationships; he had 23 months.

Death is an uncomfortable topic and people always wonder what to say and what not to, and many times just choose to not say anything.  I understand and probably used to do the same thing.  Now on the other side I can say my heart beams when someone mentions Hudson.  I might tear up when you talk about him, but it is only because I miss so much and not because you made me upset.  He is always on my mind whether you say anything or not.  Please don’t feel bad if I cry when you talk about him because I am so glad that you did.  It reminds me that we are not the only ones that loved Hudson and miss him.  You see I may cry when you talk about him, but it breaks my heart when you don’t.

When I hear you say his name or share a story about Hudson it gives me so much joy.  A couple of months after Hudson passed, one of my friends sent me some pictures of Hudson at her daughter’s birthday party.  What a treasure!  I was unable to go to the party because of work so my husband had taken him.  She gave me the gift of a new memory of my son that day and I couldn’t be more grateful.  It is also so wonderful when people share a special memory they have of Hudson or even say they think of him.

Hudson’s 3^rd birthday is coming up and we would like to ask you to participate in the second annual Hudson’s Day of Kindness on June 25^th.  Please help us keep our son’s memory alive by performing a random act of kindness on his birthday.  I have attached a PDF that has cards that tell a little about Hudson and can be printed and passed out while performing an act of kindness.  Thank you in advance for participating!

Link to Hudson's Day of Kindness Cards:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4mfAlWPs28TS1FOU19yVS1LTFU/view?usp=sharing

Please remember Hudson and please never stop saying his name.

Hudson's Heavenly Birthday

Today marks a year since our son Hudson arrived in Heaven.  Though God has gotten us through the year and blessed us more than we deserve. I still just want to be close to him. Brittain and I have gone to Jungfraujoch Switzerland which is one of the highest peaks in the Swiss Alps to spend this day as close to him as possible. What should be the most beautiful view imaginable looking out to all that God created, is not.  It is cold, snowing, covered in a fog of clouds. Almost fitting. However, I find PEACE. I know that the same God that created this mountain under my feet is cradling my son in his arms. His view is much better. There are no clouds, there is no pain or sadness, and this year has been but a vapor.  Remember Hudson and our family today and give an especially big hug to your own. We miss him so!

Faces of CHD - Meagan & Sadie

February 14th is not just for Valentine's Day, it is also National Donor Day.  National Donor Day is a time to focus on all types of organ donation, as well as to recognize loved ones that have have given the gift of life through organ donation, have received a donor organ, and are waiting for or passed away waiting for a donation.  The need for heart transplant is always a possibility for people affected by congenital heart defects. 

Thankfully significant advancements in CHD research have occurred over the past several decades.  The number of adults living with congenital heart defects is increasing due to improvements in survival.  It is now believed that the number of adults living with CHDs is possibly higher than the number of children living with congenital heart defects.  

Heart Hero - Meagan

I was born with HLHS, TA and VSD in 1990.  My parents had no idea what to expect.  The doctor told my parents they had two choices:  1. Take me home and let me die on my own or 2. Try three experimental surgeries.  They decided on the surgeries and I am thankful they did.  I am now 26 years old, living life to the fullest.  I am currently living in Florida working as a preschool teacher and working on my Masters.  I honestly don't remember being in the hospital.  All I really remember is the stories I was told by my parents and the photos I've seen.  I was very shy and didn't really get to know others and thought I was very different than other kids my age.  I was ashamed of my scar for the longest time, but not anymore!  I had feeding tubes which hit my vocal cords and changed my voice a little so I was constantly asked "What's wrong with your voice?" or "Are you sick?" and I usually respond with no or I tell them I had three heart surgeries.  It's hard at times, but now I just want people to understand.  I was scared of what people thought of me, but now I am happy that I am who I am.  My CHD doesn't define me, it's just a part of my life.

Heart Hero Sadie

Born in 1997 with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, Sadie had her first open-heart surgery at 9 months old.  Later at 9 years old she needed another surgery to repair her heart.  In between those two surgeries, and after her second surgery, Sadie lived a normal life.  After graduating high school, Sadie moved to New York to pursue her passion as an actress.  While studying acting at the Lee Strasberg Institute of Film and Theatre, she began experiencing symptoms of heart failure.  After returning to Children's of Alabama, Sadie ended up on the heart transplant list.  Within several months, Sadie was matched to a heart donor and received her gift of life.  Sadie is currently doing well and is continuing to pursue her dream of acting.